- Don’t want to come in early and stay late? Lazy.
- Don’t want to do dangerous work? Pussy.
- Request a higher wage? Entitled baby.
When management exalts “masculine” values, it makes men jump at the drop of a hat when they insinuate that maybe, just maybe, you’re not a “real man” or a “hard enough worker.” That is an identity shattering accusation. It’s a very useful psychological tool in the exploitation of the working class.
Of course, you’ll never be man “enough.” That sentence doesn’t even make any sense. It’s simply a clever manipulation tactic to get workers to accept more work, shittier conditions and less pay— because they’d rather do that than have their “manhood” put into question.
Source: Working blue collar jobs for over a decade.
> The law professor Joan C. Williams recently wrote, “Adept manipulation of masculine anxieties is an essential ingredient in the secret sauce of many far-right figures, from Donald Trump to Jair Bolsonaro to Viktor Orbán to Alternative for Germany’s call to ‘rediscover our manliness.’” Journalist Virginia Heffernan put it bluntly: “Elite men are anxious that their wives, workers, and children will gain financial and intellectual independence, take their property, and flee.”
I think this is really interesting, because it gets at the heart of the issue: "masculine anxities" stem from insecurity. "Elite" men are anxious that their wives, workers, and children will leave them, because they're afraid that they're bad husbands, bosses, and fathers—and the call to "rediscover our manliness" is a convenient way for them to avoid having to confront the insecurity within themselves and become better people. On an individual level, people don't like change, and don't like discomfort. The new paradigm in which men have to work just as hard as the women and split all the housework equally is annoying, and men would rather just not.
On a political level, as you point out, the rich and powerful have a vested interest in keeping people divided. It's easier to pass tax cuts and get away with corruption if you keep the people's eyes on culture war issues, as we've seen with the recent GOP Bill. Only one party is championing men's issues, and they're doing it in an incredibly disingenuous way. What a shocker.
But on a personal level, I am a little worried about the future of men, particularly young men. I've complained to my women friends before about the lack of male fashion or style choices—it seems that the status game has really flattened the range of male expression, as seen in the Great Male Renunciation in which men "abandoned their claim to be considered beautiful" and "henceforth aimed at being only useful" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Male_Renunciation). The suit's monopoly on dress codes and the drabness of male fashion is an interesting allegory for a greater problem: if male fashion is default, lifeless, and boring, what does that say about being a man in general?
I don't write about gender much, because I usually don't care to. My identity as a man is extremely non-central to my life—I care much more about my hobbies and my friends and what I'm going to be eating for dinner tonight. But I can't help but wonder what the future looks like for the men who DO care about being "manly", whatever that means.
"The new paradigm in which men have to work just as hard as the women and split all the housework equally is annoying, and men would rather just not." -- This right here, BIG time. The resistance to taking on more household management responsibilities is so strong and speaks to the strength of the societal conditioning re gender norms that we've all experienced every day of our lives. It's also heavily reflected and normalized in media. Changing in adulthood is hard! But we're all the better for it.
On the perceived "lack of male fashion or style choices" -- I get you, but would counter that with the note that men have been conditioned to avoid certain colours or styles. But this *is* changing. The amount of beautiful bright colourful patterned joyful clothing articles that I see men / masc-presenting people wearing these days is just fantastic. I do tend to hang in more artistic and gender-fluid circles, but it's such a wonderful change to see and I am hopeful that it will catch on. No longer will men be restricted to only expressing themselves and their personalities through kooky themed ties!
Additionally, I am seeing more and more moms / parental figures eschewing traditional boy / girl divides in clothing choices for their kids. "All clothes are for all kids" is something I'm hearing a lot, and I'm checking all the bins / sections for cute colourful stuff for my toddler because who even cares anymore? Not most of the people I know. I hope this gives you hope! <3
“The new paradigm in which men have to work just as hard as the women and split all the housework equally is annoying, and men would rather just not.” *sigh* but it’s progress that some men will acknowledge this, at least.
Many of these men genuinely believe that their gender essentialist views would benefit people** if they were put into practice both on the personal and structural level. More often than not, their desire to have people maintain and fit into strict defined boxes/roles goes beyond their views on gender (like skin colour, nationality, sexuality, religious beliefs). It's a trap that they themselves fall into and often bring others with them because even though we humans like categorization, our lives are full of nuance, contradictions, and adaptation. The disconnect between their perceived view of people should act and be and the reality is often where things become harmful and damaging.
Elites who hold these beliefs exasperate the damage by wielding their power and influence over those with less. While the most cynical among them probably see gender as a way to divide and conquer, and maybe there are many who don't acknowledge that being a motivation, I think a lot are just as convinced of their own misconceptions of the world.
I'm not sure if it can be stopped per se, but I do think it can be effective to expose how disconnected they are from everyday people's lives (an accusation that gets thrown around at the left) like this piece does and instead give people agency over their own lives and relationships. Ex. "Maybe it's not the business of politicians, CEOs, or podcasts hosts to get involved in how best you and your spouse should live your lives. That's for you two to figure out through the life you share together."
Their desire to put people in tight boxes is a temporary strength, but ultimately a weakness. Our strength comes from accepting and embracing the nuances of the reality of life.
**Which type of people and how many can often be very limited...
Your people are whole, healthy human beings, just busy living life and surviving without worrying about conformity. My theory is that young men know they are failing and they are unwilling to address their reliance on games and porn as a major reason. They can't provide a value proposition to young women, so they whine and blame.
It’s a carrot on a stick:
- Don’t want to come in early and stay late? Lazy.
- Don’t want to do dangerous work? Pussy.
- Request a higher wage? Entitled baby.
When management exalts “masculine” values, it makes men jump at the drop of a hat when they insinuate that maybe, just maybe, you’re not a “real man” or a “hard enough worker.” That is an identity shattering accusation. It’s a very useful psychological tool in the exploitation of the working class.
Of course, you’ll never be man “enough.” That sentence doesn’t even make any sense. It’s simply a clever manipulation tactic to get workers to accept more work, shittier conditions and less pay— because they’d rather do that than have their “manhood” put into question.
Source: Working blue collar jobs for over a decade.
You effing nailed it.
Capitalism strikes again!
> The law professor Joan C. Williams recently wrote, “Adept manipulation of masculine anxieties is an essential ingredient in the secret sauce of many far-right figures, from Donald Trump to Jair Bolsonaro to Viktor Orbán to Alternative for Germany’s call to ‘rediscover our manliness.’” Journalist Virginia Heffernan put it bluntly: “Elite men are anxious that their wives, workers, and children will gain financial and intellectual independence, take their property, and flee.”
I think this is really interesting, because it gets at the heart of the issue: "masculine anxities" stem from insecurity. "Elite" men are anxious that their wives, workers, and children will leave them, because they're afraid that they're bad husbands, bosses, and fathers—and the call to "rediscover our manliness" is a convenient way for them to avoid having to confront the insecurity within themselves and become better people. On an individual level, people don't like change, and don't like discomfort. The new paradigm in which men have to work just as hard as the women and split all the housework equally is annoying, and men would rather just not.
On a political level, as you point out, the rich and powerful have a vested interest in keeping people divided. It's easier to pass tax cuts and get away with corruption if you keep the people's eyes on culture war issues, as we've seen with the recent GOP Bill. Only one party is championing men's issues, and they're doing it in an incredibly disingenuous way. What a shocker.
But on a personal level, I am a little worried about the future of men, particularly young men. I've complained to my women friends before about the lack of male fashion or style choices—it seems that the status game has really flattened the range of male expression, as seen in the Great Male Renunciation in which men "abandoned their claim to be considered beautiful" and "henceforth aimed at being only useful" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Male_Renunciation). The suit's monopoly on dress codes and the drabness of male fashion is an interesting allegory for a greater problem: if male fashion is default, lifeless, and boring, what does that say about being a man in general?
I don't write about gender much, because I usually don't care to. My identity as a man is extremely non-central to my life—I care much more about my hobbies and my friends and what I'm going to be eating for dinner tonight. But I can't help but wonder what the future looks like for the men who DO care about being "manly", whatever that means.
"The new paradigm in which men have to work just as hard as the women and split all the housework equally is annoying, and men would rather just not." -- This right here, BIG time. The resistance to taking on more household management responsibilities is so strong and speaks to the strength of the societal conditioning re gender norms that we've all experienced every day of our lives. It's also heavily reflected and normalized in media. Changing in adulthood is hard! But we're all the better for it.
On the perceived "lack of male fashion or style choices" -- I get you, but would counter that with the note that men have been conditioned to avoid certain colours or styles. But this *is* changing. The amount of beautiful bright colourful patterned joyful clothing articles that I see men / masc-presenting people wearing these days is just fantastic. I do tend to hang in more artistic and gender-fluid circles, but it's such a wonderful change to see and I am hopeful that it will catch on. No longer will men be restricted to only expressing themselves and their personalities through kooky themed ties!
Additionally, I am seeing more and more moms / parental figures eschewing traditional boy / girl divides in clothing choices for their kids. "All clothes are for all kids" is something I'm hearing a lot, and I'm checking all the bins / sections for cute colourful stuff for my toddler because who even cares anymore? Not most of the people I know. I hope this gives you hope! <3
“The new paradigm in which men have to work just as hard as the women and split all the housework equally is annoying, and men would rather just not.” *sigh* but it’s progress that some men will acknowledge this, at least.
Many of these men genuinely believe that their gender essentialist views would benefit people** if they were put into practice both on the personal and structural level. More often than not, their desire to have people maintain and fit into strict defined boxes/roles goes beyond their views on gender (like skin colour, nationality, sexuality, religious beliefs). It's a trap that they themselves fall into and often bring others with them because even though we humans like categorization, our lives are full of nuance, contradictions, and adaptation. The disconnect between their perceived view of people should act and be and the reality is often where things become harmful and damaging.
Elites who hold these beliefs exasperate the damage by wielding their power and influence over those with less. While the most cynical among them probably see gender as a way to divide and conquer, and maybe there are many who don't acknowledge that being a motivation, I think a lot are just as convinced of their own misconceptions of the world.
I'm not sure if it can be stopped per se, but I do think it can be effective to expose how disconnected they are from everyday people's lives (an accusation that gets thrown around at the left) like this piece does and instead give people agency over their own lives and relationships. Ex. "Maybe it's not the business of politicians, CEOs, or podcasts hosts to get involved in how best you and your spouse should live your lives. That's for you two to figure out through the life you share together."
Their desire to put people in tight boxes is a temporary strength, but ultimately a weakness. Our strength comes from accepting and embracing the nuances of the reality of life.
**Which type of people and how many can often be very limited...
Your people are whole, healthy human beings, just busy living life and surviving without worrying about conformity. My theory is that young men know they are failing and they are unwilling to address their reliance on games and porn as a major reason. They can't provide a value proposition to young women, so they whine and blame.