Congrats on 4 months! Great post, Jeremy. I am noticing more and more that my fellow Gen Z are abstaining from alcohol, and sometimes all substances. It's far less cool than it used to be to drink. It's crazy how normalized binge drinking is, and how alcohol is one of the primary vehicles for socialization. I'm glad to see that changing.
From a masculinity perspective, sobriety and my men's work practice go hand in hand. I know very few men who have a healthy, stable relationship with alcohol and who can confidently reflect that they remember the last time they hung out with other men without the presence of alcohol. That's what men do. Hang at the bar. Watch the game with beers. Whiskey around the campfire.
I started drinking when I was around 15 or 16 specifically to "drown my sorrows" which felt like the acceptable way for men to handle grief and emotion. Men don't think about it, they drink about it, right? Rather than feeling all the shame evoked from my natural bodily responses to my traumatic environment (tears - unacceptable as a boy!) and the physical pain from suppressing these responses, I could instead drink. I would drink to excess, however, and my reaction to alcohol would be to have intense emotional breakdowns - wracking sobs, anguish, and belligerence. I know other men who react similarly to alcohol.
I try to be a good example for other men that you can socialize, enjoy yourself, and have meaningful connection with others without the presence of alcohol. Men's retreats I lead are sober events, always. No "I was super fucked up last night, forget what I said" as an excuse for any vulnerability expressed...
Thanks, Johnny! I appreciate how you added the insight that for many men it's hard to remember a time hanging out with other men without alcohol. That's true for me as well. I've been enjoying breaking out of that pattern, but it's so necessary to know and connect with other guys on the path. Thanks for all the work you do!
Congrats on 4 months! Great post, Jeremy. I am noticing more and more that my fellow Gen Z are abstaining from alcohol, and sometimes all substances. It's far less cool than it used to be to drink. It's crazy how normalized binge drinking is, and how alcohol is one of the primary vehicles for socialization. I'm glad to see that changing.
From a masculinity perspective, sobriety and my men's work practice go hand in hand. I know very few men who have a healthy, stable relationship with alcohol and who can confidently reflect that they remember the last time they hung out with other men without the presence of alcohol. That's what men do. Hang at the bar. Watch the game with beers. Whiskey around the campfire.
I started drinking when I was around 15 or 16 specifically to "drown my sorrows" which felt like the acceptable way for men to handle grief and emotion. Men don't think about it, they drink about it, right? Rather than feeling all the shame evoked from my natural bodily responses to my traumatic environment (tears - unacceptable as a boy!) and the physical pain from suppressing these responses, I could instead drink. I would drink to excess, however, and my reaction to alcohol would be to have intense emotional breakdowns - wracking sobs, anguish, and belligerence. I know other men who react similarly to alcohol.
I try to be a good example for other men that you can socialize, enjoy yourself, and have meaningful connection with others without the presence of alcohol. Men's retreats I lead are sober events, always. No "I was super fucked up last night, forget what I said" as an excuse for any vulnerability expressed...
Keep it up, brother!
Thanks, Johnny! I appreciate how you added the insight that for many men it's hard to remember a time hanging out with other men without alcohol. That's true for me as well. I've been enjoying breaking out of that pattern, but it's so necessary to know and connect with other guys on the path. Thanks for all the work you do!