I recently moved from DC to FL because my partner landed her dream job down here. We didn't know anyone here, and I was truly worried about what it would mean for my relationships. I value them all so much! Once we got here a light bulb went off: I could call my friends on the phone! Over the last two months, I've had a bunch of lovely phone convos with friends while out taking a walk. And ironically I actually feel a little closer to people as a result, even though I'm farther away.
Would highly recommend my fellow men chatting with friends on the phone, if you don't already. I actually felt a little nervous the first time I called a guy friend -- I guess the seeming intimacy of a phone call intimidated me a bit -- but the moment we started talking it faded.
As a matter of fact, you've inspired my next post, Jeremy, and I will be linking it to this post. It made me realize that there's a group of mostly men I follow who actually seem connected, are respectful and like each other. They have a common interest.
Recently, one concept keeps coming back to me. What if men are actually one of the biggest victims of the patriarchy? I know it’s an unpopular opinion but when you look at the data and my own personal experience, men are struggling. Yes through the lens of patriarchy they are the big winners, heck it’s even named after them. But perhaps it’s only named after them to keep men from rebelling. Men are more likely to be homeless, 4x higher rates of suicide, live shorter lives, are less happy and are more dependent on their female partner. Capitalism runs on workhorses without needs. It’s time men realize they are part of a self perpetuating con.
I’d argue that the men on top are also collateral. By the time they reach a position of power they’ve had to turn from basic decency and humanity so many times that healing is essentially impossible. Their lives are fueled on schadenfreude and the lie that the next tier of the hierarchy with hold happiness and fulfillment. The only way they live with themselves stuff down their fragility, damper their conscience and perpetuate the system of abuse.
Once again, I found myself thinking about how much I enjoy your newsletter.
I added your publication to my substack reading recommendation list for advanced language learners, for those who want to practice their English and evolve as humans 💜
Hear hear. It's all about relationships!
I recently moved from DC to FL because my partner landed her dream job down here. We didn't know anyone here, and I was truly worried about what it would mean for my relationships. I value them all so much! Once we got here a light bulb went off: I could call my friends on the phone! Over the last two months, I've had a bunch of lovely phone convos with friends while out taking a walk. And ironically I actually feel a little closer to people as a result, even though I'm farther away.
Would highly recommend my fellow men chatting with friends on the phone, if you don't already. I actually felt a little nervous the first time I called a guy friend -- I guess the seeming intimacy of a phone call intimidated me a bit -- but the moment we started talking it faded.
Yes yes yes! This is so great hear
Jeremy, I love this post! What you say is so true, and men would be so less lonely if they focused more on their relationships.
Thanks for commenting, Diana! Always feels nice to hear your take.
As a matter of fact, you've inspired my next post, Jeremy, and I will be linking it to this post. It made me realize that there's a group of mostly men I follow who actually seem connected, are respectful and like each other. They have a common interest.
Please share when it’s out!
I will be happy to, Jeremy.
Recently, one concept keeps coming back to me. What if men are actually one of the biggest victims of the patriarchy? I know it’s an unpopular opinion but when you look at the data and my own personal experience, men are struggling. Yes through the lens of patriarchy they are the big winners, heck it’s even named after them. But perhaps it’s only named after them to keep men from rebelling. Men are more likely to be homeless, 4x higher rates of suicide, live shorter lives, are less happy and are more dependent on their female partner. Capitalism runs on workhorses without needs. It’s time men realize they are part of a self perpetuating con.
Totally agree! I’d say everyone except those at the very top of society are victims of patriarchy.
I’d argue that the men on top are also collateral. By the time they reach a position of power they’ve had to turn from basic decency and humanity so many times that healing is essentially impossible. Their lives are fueled on schadenfreude and the lie that the next tier of the hierarchy with hold happiness and fulfillment. The only way they live with themselves stuff down their fragility, damper their conscience and perpetuate the system of abuse.
(I hit enter before I wanted to!) And therefore we all should be working together to end it.
Yes we all need to end it.
Once again, I found myself thinking about how much I enjoy your newsletter.
I added your publication to my substack reading recommendation list for advanced language learners, for those who want to practice their English and evolve as humans 💜
Aw, Paola, this is one of the nicest, sweetest comments I've ever gotten. Thank you!
Love what you’re doing, man — I’m reading everything.
Same!!
Aw, thanks ☺️ This feels so damn good.