I agree with all of that. Sometimes I go straight for the neuroscience of emotion (we all have them and they determine our reality so we need to engage with them) but I often take the more experiential approach as you have. More than resistance, I find simple alexithymia and low emotional granularity to be the biggest hurdles.
Love this perspective! It makes me think of a lot of my clients’ confusion about emotion beyond “anger,” “happy,” and “sad.” I love how your saying it’s not necessarily resistance, which is a conclusion I can definitely jump to.
All of this is well and good, but it doesn't take into account the fact that men are punished for showing emotions, oftentimes by their same female partners who want emotional succor from them.
I just read your superb piece Jeremy (and reposted a para I especially liked.) Your writing prompted me to revisit part of my first book which deals with the male as an absent parent and some of what you dive into here. With your permission, I'll leave a link: https://bretthetherington.substack.com/p/oh-father-where-art-thou
I feel like we are constantly told to be open with our emotions. However, when we do, we are usually ignored, criticized, or even just abandoned completely, and especially from the left who label us fragile and tell us that it is a burden to have to deal with our fee fees. Further, we are even rebuked by other men across the political spectrum, which leaves many of us feeling broken, betrayed, and lost as to how to proceed as our emotional pain and fury turn inward and crush us...
I agree with all of that. Sometimes I go straight for the neuroscience of emotion (we all have them and they determine our reality so we need to engage with them) but I often take the more experiential approach as you have. More than resistance, I find simple alexithymia and low emotional granularity to be the biggest hurdles.
Love this perspective! It makes me think of a lot of my clients’ confusion about emotion beyond “anger,” “happy,” and “sad.” I love how your saying it’s not necessarily resistance, which is a conclusion I can definitely jump to.
All of this is well and good, but it doesn't take into account the fact that men are punished for showing emotions, oftentimes by their same female partners who want emotional succor from them.
Yes, because of our patriarchal capitalist society.
No. It's not patriarchy if it values the female experience and well-being over the male.
I just read your superb piece Jeremy (and reposted a para I especially liked.) Your writing prompted me to revisit part of my first book which deals with the male as an absent parent and some of what you dive into here. With your permission, I'll leave a link: https://bretthetherington.substack.com/p/oh-father-where-art-thou
I feel like we are constantly told to be open with our emotions. However, when we do, we are usually ignored, criticized, or even just abandoned completely, and especially from the left who label us fragile and tell us that it is a burden to have to deal with our fee fees. Further, we are even rebuked by other men across the political spectrum, which leaves many of us feeling broken, betrayed, and lost as to how to proceed as our emotional pain and fury turn inward and crush us...