Wow. First, I am so sorry that you had to witness that devastating, and terrifying, scene. I am so sorry you now have to carry that trauma with you, but am so grateful you have people in your personal community you can deeply rely on during this time. Secondly, YES! This messaging is so necessary! The line about who was actually causing the environment to become hostile and unsafe is so important. Reallocating those massive funds to support social programs is a great first step. Thank you for writing this.
Also, I sent a message today prior to reading this, please, please do not feel pressured to get to it in any sort of timeframe. When your brain is at peace and has space to process again, my message will still be there. Sending healing vibes and all of the positive energy!!
It always makes me shudder when confronted with the bleakreality of this type of police-state, also knowing that the US is doing the same to other countries en masse, policing the world, unseating democratically elected officials in countries where the US shouldn't have any say.
I have not personally witnessed any gun violence, but lost my wrestling coach to a related incident. He had walked in on his wife cheating on him with another man. He calmly went to fetch his revolver from his safe, and shot them both dead in the room, after which he took his own life as well. He orphaned both of his kids that day, 10 and 7 years old. He was always a very kind, loving and rational person. Yes, he probably hurt a whole lot after what he saw, but if he didn't have access to that weapon, he could have healed his pain, learned to trust again, and could probably have spent the rest of his life continuing to love his kids.
I know it's a bit different from what you shared, but in a way, he was policing the event with his weapon, punishing the offenders (his wife and her lover), after which he also punished himself for what he had just done.
Thank you for sharing your post Jeremy. I'm thankful to be able to comment and participate now as well 🙏 . I wish you strength towards integrating the entirety of this experience.
A thousand times YES. Many kinds of trauma are relational, and healing is relational too. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 As I’m learning myself, healing is all about restoring and repairing the relationship we have with ourselves and others. Love, trust, and community are the most powerful antidotes to trauma. Thank you for addressing this so clearly. 🙏
Jeremy, this sounds horrific. It sounds like you are taking many sensible steps to process it, and I wish you well with that journey.
I am absolutely blown away by the stats on police shootings. I know guns are an emotive topic in the US but, as a Brit, I am completely baffled by it. Last year in the UK there was ONE fatal police shooting, and this year so far...ONE. A man armed with a crossbow trying to enter a building and harm people. It is national headline news when this happens. I have never seen a gun being used in any circumstance, and I don't have any expectation that I ever will. The difference between the two countries is fascinating.
This definitely resonates with me. I’m a Registered Nurse working at a Community Health Centre in Ontario, Canada at their Safe Consumption Site/Safe Injection Site. Last July, three individuals got into it by my centre and decided to open fire at one another. I was outside, roughly 50m on the periphery of that shoot out. After they fled, I became the first healthcare worker to respond to a woman who was struck by one of those bullets. I did everything I could but they ultimately died on the street despite my best efforts. That day has stuck with me, and stained my soul. I understood trauma as a theoretical concept prior to that event, and much like you, now feel that trauma deep in my bones. It will be a slow road to health for myself, and thankfully I have a partner to “co-regulate” with which has been immense. It is one thing to read about trauma and provide care to it, but when you feel it in your bones personally, it’s another thing entirely.
Wow. First, I am so sorry that you had to witness that devastating, and terrifying, scene. I am so sorry you now have to carry that trauma with you, but am so grateful you have people in your personal community you can deeply rely on during this time. Secondly, YES! This messaging is so necessary! The line about who was actually causing the environment to become hostile and unsafe is so important. Reallocating those massive funds to support social programs is a great first step. Thank you for writing this.
Also, I sent a message today prior to reading this, please, please do not feel pressured to get to it in any sort of timeframe. When your brain is at peace and has space to process again, my message will still be there. Sending healing vibes and all of the positive energy!!
It always makes me shudder when confronted with the bleakreality of this type of police-state, also knowing that the US is doing the same to other countries en masse, policing the world, unseating democratically elected officials in countries where the US shouldn't have any say.
I have not personally witnessed any gun violence, but lost my wrestling coach to a related incident. He had walked in on his wife cheating on him with another man. He calmly went to fetch his revolver from his safe, and shot them both dead in the room, after which he took his own life as well. He orphaned both of his kids that day, 10 and 7 years old. He was always a very kind, loving and rational person. Yes, he probably hurt a whole lot after what he saw, but if he didn't have access to that weapon, he could have healed his pain, learned to trust again, and could probably have spent the rest of his life continuing to love his kids.
I know it's a bit different from what you shared, but in a way, he was policing the event with his weapon, punishing the offenders (his wife and her lover), after which he also punished himself for what he had just done.
Thank you for sharing your post Jeremy. I'm thankful to be able to comment and participate now as well 🙏 . I wish you strength towards integrating the entirety of this experience.
A thousand times YES. Many kinds of trauma are relational, and healing is relational too. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 As I’m learning myself, healing is all about restoring and repairing the relationship we have with ourselves and others. Love, trust, and community are the most powerful antidotes to trauma. Thank you for addressing this so clearly. 🙏
Jeremy, this sounds horrific. It sounds like you are taking many sensible steps to process it, and I wish you well with that journey.
I am absolutely blown away by the stats on police shootings. I know guns are an emotive topic in the US but, as a Brit, I am completely baffled by it. Last year in the UK there was ONE fatal police shooting, and this year so far...ONE. A man armed with a crossbow trying to enter a building and harm people. It is national headline news when this happens. I have never seen a gun being used in any circumstance, and I don't have any expectation that I ever will. The difference between the two countries is fascinating.
This definitely resonates with me. I’m a Registered Nurse working at a Community Health Centre in Ontario, Canada at their Safe Consumption Site/Safe Injection Site. Last July, three individuals got into it by my centre and decided to open fire at one another. I was outside, roughly 50m on the periphery of that shoot out. After they fled, I became the first healthcare worker to respond to a woman who was struck by one of those bullets. I did everything I could but they ultimately died on the street despite my best efforts. That day has stuck with me, and stained my soul. I understood trauma as a theoretical concept prior to that event, and much like you, now feel that trauma deep in my bones. It will be a slow road to health for myself, and thankfully I have a partner to “co-regulate” with which has been immense. It is one thing to read about trauma and provide care to it, but when you feel it in your bones personally, it’s another thing entirely.