Thank you so much for putting this book on my radar. The question of how to encourage heroic, kind, and emotionally integrated masculinity has become one of my primary preoccupations.
Key line, here, "...rather than “gendering” traits such as bravery or strength on the one hand, or empathy or nurture on the other, as masculine of feminine, I would rather we just see all of these qualities and attributes as simply human"
When we allow our humanness to shine through the conversation, we can create the healing spaces for men who WANT to step (let's remember some really don't) and additionally, protect women, raise our sons differently and so on. It's creating a base-space for empathy, collective softness of human emotion. I wrote in a piece, "Man up is destroying our sons," (link to alt. platform writes: https://medium.com/@ashgallagher83/list/raising-boys-2-men-91c431de13cc) identifying the aspects of above mentioned masculinity behind harmful b/c they separate, rather than include. Our aim, I think then, is a back to basics, which includes 1) conversations about emotional humanness, 2) hold accountable where necessary and making sure 3) men are part of this b/c there are inherent mixed issues which also over lap (is the definition for masculinity in America inherently white and dominant? I suspect so. (more to this here: https://ashgallagher.substack.com/p/coffee-scented-misogyny ))
A much older read, but one readers of this stack may find useful: Mothers, Sons, and Lovers: How a Man's Relationship with His Mother Affects the Rest of His Life https://a.co/d/9pZzPdT
Thank you so much for putting this book on my radar. The question of how to encourage heroic, kind, and emotionally integrated masculinity has become one of my primary preoccupations.
It’s such a worthwhile question!
Key line, here, "...rather than “gendering” traits such as bravery or strength on the one hand, or empathy or nurture on the other, as masculine of feminine, I would rather we just see all of these qualities and attributes as simply human"
When we allow our humanness to shine through the conversation, we can create the healing spaces for men who WANT to step (let's remember some really don't) and additionally, protect women, raise our sons differently and so on. It's creating a base-space for empathy, collective softness of human emotion. I wrote in a piece, "Man up is destroying our sons," (link to alt. platform writes: https://medium.com/@ashgallagher83/list/raising-boys-2-men-91c431de13cc) identifying the aspects of above mentioned masculinity behind harmful b/c they separate, rather than include. Our aim, I think then, is a back to basics, which includes 1) conversations about emotional humanness, 2) hold accountable where necessary and making sure 3) men are part of this b/c there are inherent mixed issues which also over lap (is the definition for masculinity in America inherently white and dominant? I suspect so. (more to this here: https://ashgallagher.substack.com/p/coffee-scented-misogyny ))
Love this and agree, Ash!
A much older read, but one readers of this stack may find useful: Mothers, Sons, and Lovers: How a Man's Relationship with His Mother Affects the Rest of His Life https://a.co/d/9pZzPdT
Shouldn’t you say “the patriarchy” instead of just “patriarchy.” Also, I don’t see any references to “the man box.” All this is highly problematic.