Welp… wish I knew about that research article before I literally made a post titled “There’s an Epidemic Among Men” and it was about loneliness. 🫣 The angle I was trying to take was the type of loneliness that exists within relationships because of guys being afraid to open up or be vulnerable.
But, I think you and I are on the same page and saying more or less the same thing. Grateful for your work, as a therapist and writer, and putting language to such necessary topics.
Thanks, Blake! Yeah I still think it’s important to talk about the specific dimensions of loneliness for men, even if more and more data is revealing that this is a lonely society in general.
Also, that post went a bit viral and I got slammed by some comments. Turns out there’s lots of people, men in particular, that get angry at the idea of people encouraging men to be more vulnerable. Which is very intriguing in and of itself.
I appreciate the nuancing of the idea. Easy to realize you don't do a thing and then decide the not-doing is Wrong to be Ended. "Guy who confidently asserts an idea" is the necessary complement to "Guy who wonders aloud what the solution is." And some people are more comfortable in one role than another naturally. The issue is when you become locked into or somehow shame-motivated around one role.
In my head linking to Conversational Doorknobs (https://www.experimental-history.com/p/good-conversations-have-lots-of-doorknobs) and ContraPoints' "Twilight" point about duality (that is, that people might have more enriching sexual and romantic lives if they located both their desire and desire-to-be-desired, and switched up their place in the pursuer/pursued dynamic sometimes.)
Oh man if you haven't seen it yet, I would be fascinated to hear your take! It's a lot of lead-up before the 'punchline' I reference but it's worth it imo
Welp… wish I knew about that research article before I literally made a post titled “There’s an Epidemic Among Men” and it was about loneliness. 🫣 The angle I was trying to take was the type of loneliness that exists within relationships because of guys being afraid to open up or be vulnerable.
But, I think you and I are on the same page and saying more or less the same thing. Grateful for your work, as a therapist and writer, and putting language to such necessary topics.
Thanks, Blake! Yeah I still think it’s important to talk about the specific dimensions of loneliness for men, even if more and more data is revealing that this is a lonely society in general.
Also, that post went a bit viral and I got slammed by some comments. Turns out there’s lots of people, men in particular, that get angry at the idea of people encouraging men to be more vulnerable. Which is very intriguing in and of itself.
I appreciate the nuancing of the idea. Easy to realize you don't do a thing and then decide the not-doing is Wrong to be Ended. "Guy who confidently asserts an idea" is the necessary complement to "Guy who wonders aloud what the solution is." And some people are more comfortable in one role than another naturally. The issue is when you become locked into or somehow shame-motivated around one role.
In my head linking to Conversational Doorknobs (https://www.experimental-history.com/p/good-conversations-have-lots-of-doorknobs) and ContraPoints' "Twilight" point about duality (that is, that people might have more enriching sexual and romantic lives if they located both their desire and desire-to-be-desired, and switched up their place in the pursuer/pursued dynamic sometimes.)
Can’t wait to check out that Contrapoints episode. Thanks!
Oh man if you haven't seen it yet, I would be fascinated to hear your take! It's a lot of lead-up before the 'punchline' I reference but it's worth it imo