I love this! Thanks for sharing this peek inside your healing journey! It's so lovely to hear how you're leaning into connection and finding it more abundantly available. Something similar is happening with me and contentment lately. I've been letting myself feel into how perfect things are right now, even if I have dreams and goals and ideas of how I want things to feel different in the future. I feel lucky to be on this journey and walking alongside folks like you, Jeremy!
Working from home has changed a lot of this emotional interplay between couples. My husband (72 and presently away on business in Honolulu) pivoted to WFH for an average of 4 days a week post-COVID. He said during lockdown he didn’t miss the office, but in fact the few days he does commute really energise him. I also think it’s significant that he took up competitive running and joined a club, where he networks frequently with the sort of people he works with, only younger.
When he’s WFH he checks in with me a dozen times a day. He’ll ask me about the slightest little thing. He’ll graze (he’s put on weight despite all that running). He just seems kind of lost without that regular human contact and connection. Sometimes it drives me crazy, but it’s always round about 5 days into one of his trips away that I start really missing him.
Your essay resonates with me (from a woman’s perspective). I admire your ability to construct a well-written essay with an important message that is both vulnerable and professional. I’m working on getting better at this. I’m a life long journaler and making my writing more professional but still maintaining the personal edge is much harder for me than I anticipated! I enjoy reading your stuff.
Aw, thanks, Amy! You're helping me reflect on how much practice I've put into writing over the years, and how, while it still often seems clunky to me, I can flow between personal and professional a little less clunkier with each post I send out. I appreciate your comment so much!
Great article, and thanks for sharing from a vulnerable place 🙏
I have been going through a similar experience over the past year; a type of weaning from my relationship. We can theorize over many of the Freudian implications behind this, but for me it became simpler the more I dealt with my emotions head-on and not numbing, avoiding or suppressing.
First came practicing emotional regulation, so that I could regulate my emotions better at times where my partner was emotionally available for me (less exhaustion for her). Then I had to face and let go of many of the "rules and expectations" of a typical monogamous relationship. Before meeting my partner, mostly all my friends were girls. Since there was an emotional connection between most of us, the rules of monogamy told me that I had to end those relationships to avoid jealousy or uncomfortable feelings from my partner. This loss of a support network resulted in me having to place my entire need for emotional connection on one person only. She still had her girl friends, and I struggled to find guys who were on an emotionally mature level with whom I could discuss these emotional topics (without them making sexist statements or venting-out harmful rhetoric towards women in general).
I re-established old ties with friends from school, started making an effort towards meeting new people, and our relationship is blossomming brighter than ever before.
Enjoy your much-needed break. I'm looking forward to reading more from you again next month.
I love this! Thanks for sharing this peek inside your healing journey! It's so lovely to hear how you're leaning into connection and finding it more abundantly available. Something similar is happening with me and contentment lately. I've been letting myself feel into how perfect things are right now, even if I have dreams and goals and ideas of how I want things to feel different in the future. I feel lucky to be on this journey and walking alongside folks like you, Jeremy!
Working from home has changed a lot of this emotional interplay between couples. My husband (72 and presently away on business in Honolulu) pivoted to WFH for an average of 4 days a week post-COVID. He said during lockdown he didn’t miss the office, but in fact the few days he does commute really energise him. I also think it’s significant that he took up competitive running and joined a club, where he networks frequently with the sort of people he works with, only younger.
When he’s WFH he checks in with me a dozen times a day. He’ll ask me about the slightest little thing. He’ll graze (he’s put on weight despite all that running). He just seems kind of lost without that regular human contact and connection. Sometimes it drives me crazy, but it’s always round about 5 days into one of his trips away that I start really missing him.
Oh, you know how much I resonate with the dreams and goals pulling me away from the present stuff! Appreciate you!
Your essay resonates with me (from a woman’s perspective). I admire your ability to construct a well-written essay with an important message that is both vulnerable and professional. I’m working on getting better at this. I’m a life long journaler and making my writing more professional but still maintaining the personal edge is much harder for me than I anticipated! I enjoy reading your stuff.
Aw, thanks, Amy! You're helping me reflect on how much practice I've put into writing over the years, and how, while it still often seems clunky to me, I can flow between personal and professional a little less clunkier with each post I send out. I appreciate your comment so much!
Hey Jeremy,
Great article, and thanks for sharing from a vulnerable place 🙏
I have been going through a similar experience over the past year; a type of weaning from my relationship. We can theorize over many of the Freudian implications behind this, but for me it became simpler the more I dealt with my emotions head-on and not numbing, avoiding or suppressing.
First came practicing emotional regulation, so that I could regulate my emotions better at times where my partner was emotionally available for me (less exhaustion for her). Then I had to face and let go of many of the "rules and expectations" of a typical monogamous relationship. Before meeting my partner, mostly all my friends were girls. Since there was an emotional connection between most of us, the rules of monogamy told me that I had to end those relationships to avoid jealousy or uncomfortable feelings from my partner. This loss of a support network resulted in me having to place my entire need for emotional connection on one person only. She still had her girl friends, and I struggled to find guys who were on an emotionally mature level with whom I could discuss these emotional topics (without them making sexist statements or venting-out harmful rhetoric towards women in general).
I re-established old ties with friends from school, started making an effort towards meeting new people, and our relationship is blossomming brighter than ever before.
Enjoy your much-needed break. I'm looking forward to reading more from you again next month.
I love this progress for you! Thanks for reading and commenting. Appreciate you!